Five weeks and one day into this and I’m reminded that the best betas in the world do not guarantee a goddamn thing.
I was nervous about the second blood test. Would Squeak’s number double like it was supposed to?
On pregnancy test day, I was done with the blood draw and at work by 7:30am. An hour later, my email pinged: “You have one new test result.” My hands started to shake.
I was dreading the first time I’d have to give myself a PIO shot. But after you get past the very loud voice in your head telling you “You’re NUTS!” it really isn’t that bad!
My transfer day did not start off well. My plan to recreate December 9, 2011 didn’t work out. But things started looking up when we got some surprising and wonderful news from the embryologist.
On the eve of my embryo transfer, I’m not thinking about tomorrow. I’m thinking about December 9, 2011, and trying my damnedest to have my own little Groundhog Day.
It would appear that I am very bad at self-administering pokey things and being like Valerie Plame.
I’ve made it over the first hurdle in this process — my pre-transfer ultrasound. Now my mind is swimming with statistics, and I’m terrified about making it through the next steps.
When faced with the prospect of sticking a 1-1/2 inch needle in my own arse, I turn into a huge coward. I need a little roundhouse-kickin’ inspiration.