Skinny Squeak can’t even fill out the waist of 18-month pants. This creates a dilemma, but luckily, a little DIY elbow grease solves this problem and keeps Squeak’s pants up, too!
Hiya!
This is a blog about attempting to make your own humans (and failing miserably at first, but eventually succeeding), parenting, marriage, working mom life, aging parents, and being an imperfect human.
The page-turner
When a book is so good that I’d rather read than go to a complimentary happy hour… that’s saying something. So I must tell you about this book.
Kitty
A dog named Kitty. A boy dog with a girl’s name. A species-confused, overly vocal, Kleenex-and-paper-towel-eating canine. My first fur baby. And a terribly broken heart after saying good-bye.
Jay and the 23andMe Mystery
I’ve always wanted to be part of one of those 23andMe-induced family-secret-unearthing stories, but I was certain that my farm-roots family meant there’d be no surprises. Then came an out-of-the-blue email from a guy named Jay.
Lou Gehrig’s Disease
The neurologist took a deep breath while I held mine. And then he said it. “I think this is Lou Gehrig’s Disease.”
DIY Wooden Ruler Height Chart
We measured our height on a door in our basement when I was growing up, but when we later sold the farmhouse, that door—and all the memories it contained—stayed behind. For less than it costs to buy one, you can make your own wall-mounted wooden ruler height chart. Best of all, it can travel with you no matter where you live.
How to stop your kid’s thumbsucking.
I’ve tackled some big challenges in my life. Infertility was a doozy. A month in traction was another. But nothing prepared me for the challenge of breaking my five-year-old of her thumbsucking habit. Buckle in, friends. It’s gonna get crazy.
Why laser hair removal is the best thing ever
I’m pretty sure there’s some Sasquatch in my DNA (even if 23andMe disagrees), based solely on the amount of hair on my body. But thanks to the wonders of laser hair removal, my life has gotten a lot less hairy (pun intended).
Riding in trucks with boys (a story of teenage stupidity)
Up ahead was a depression in the road, filled with water from a recent storm. Inside the cab of the truck, Eric swerved, and just like that, I was airborne, flying out of the back of the truck and into the darkness.
Losing track of my kids at the fair (twice)
One of many fears parents have is losing track of a child in a crowd. Last week, at the Iowa State Fair, both Peanut and Squeak got away from me. In one situation, I was losing my mind. In the other, I remained calm, even though my child was missing for a lot longer. Here’s why.
Waterpark Survival 101: Great Wolf Lodge, Wisconsin Dells
Waterparks are kid meccas, but they’re super overwhelming for parents. We’ve visited Great Wolf Lodge in the Waterpark Capitol of the World three years running—here’s what I’ve learned.
To the mom in the trenches: it gets easier
When you feel like you cannot go on another minute, because it’s all just too much, remember this: you’re in the trenches right now. You won’t stay there. And it does get better. Here’s a story to explain how it did so for me.
Air travel with babies & toddlers: car seats and the CARES harness
When it comes to airplane travel with kids, there are two options: Take the easy way out with lap-baby or no car seat (and take your chances with your child’s life and safety), OR do it the hard way, even though it’s a bit more inconvenient, and take along a car seat or harness. For the parents who choose the no-brainer “keep my kid alive” option, here are some tips to survive a flight when your kiddo needs a few more buckles.
![The redshirt conundrum [With an update, 7 years later]](https://www.peanutmom.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/redshirt.jpg)
The redshirt conundrum [With an update, 7 years later]
Everyone has an opinion. But one thing is clear: when to send your kid is a decision parents should make with each individual kiddo’s unique situation in mind.
Iowa State Fair Survival
How does a mom survive 12 hours of the Iowa State Fair with two toddlers? I’ll tell ya, it’s not easy. But a little preparation plus a great plan for once you get there are key to success. Here’s how we get through three days of the fair and come out the other end with a barrel full of great memories.
Everybody Hates You
I have an inner voice, and she’s a Mean Girl. She tells me lies, makes claims without proof, and seems to know everything. I call her Regina George. Here’s some of the bullshit she whispers in my ear.
World War Food, Part Three
Our first visit with renowned pediatric feeding specialist Dr. C was an emotionally (and physically) trying day. We’re taking a completely new approach to my incredibly picky eaters.
World War Food, Part Two
I have picky eaters. Not your average picky eaters, either. My kids put most toddlers to shame. It’s my biggest insecurity as a parent, it stresses me out, and it sucks. I’m not taking it lying down any more. This is the beginning of our family’s journey to help my kids have a normal (hell, I’d settle for semi-normal) relationship with food.
My Friend Orv
I would never have guessed that stopping to chat with an old fella one summer day would be the beginning of a wonderful friendship. A tribute to my oldest and most uplifting friend, who taught me the value of perspective, gained after nearly a century on earth.
Why I Hate Tulsa, Oklahoma
It all started in 1994, when I took an extremely unpleasant trip to The Sooner State, one that I’ve been trying to forget ever since.
You’re never really ready to go
Due to kidney failure, my 94-year-old friend has less than a year to live. Even more surprising was how he reacted to the news.
She’s at the end of her rope
Do you ever feel like you might just lose it? (Face it, moms. We all have those moments.) So why don’t we talk about it? This is me, mid-meltdown. In all its ugliness.
I’m just not cut out to go viral
I always thought it would be awesome to have a blog post go viral. Then it happened. And I hated it.
Why I’ll always buy an extra seat
Many parents do it: fly with their baby in their lap on an airplane. Hell, I’ve even done it. But after my eyes were opened to the risk I was taking with my child’s life, I’ve vowed never to do it again — and to spread the word of why “infant in arms” must end once and for all.
Committed to eSET: Why we transferred just one embryo
Thinking of transferring two embryos? The research on elective single embryo transfer (eSET) and birth outcomes might just surprise you. These are the reasons behind our decision to transfer just one embryo every time.
The Photo Organization Challenge
Thanks to Steve Jobs, I almost always have a camera handy to take pictures of those special moments. That’s the easy part. Is there an easy way to get them out of the cloud and into your photo album without spending a fortune on prints or hours sorting and captioning? Here’s how I do it.
My Skinny Baby Boy
Milestones were never that important to me… until I had a baby that started missing them.
Keeping your maiden name after marriage
It’s been 5 years since I made the decision not to take my husband’s name.
I can now address all those “what ifs” that the naysayers warned me about before I got married.
Little wooden stepstool
I was 11 years old when my grandmother’s heart stopped in front of me. We were a few feet apart, mid-conversation, and she had a heart attack.
The many flavors of Lucille Bluth
She’s obnoxious. She’s distasteful. She’s a sociopath. And she’s usually drunk. She also represents something that no mom can avoid.
Why I loved giving birth
Having my babies delivered a mix of effort and emotion unlike anything I had ever experienced. I sound crazy, but I loved every excruciating second of giving birth.
Squeak’s Birth Story
After Peanut’s weird birth, I had no idea what to expect. And just like last time, I had a super weird delivery that went completely off the rails.
Bring It: The Smart Girl’s Hospital Bag Packing List
The advantage of being a second-time mom is that I have learned from (some) of my previous mistakes. Here’s my advice on what you should definitely have in that hospital bag.
The Pregnant Girl Survival Guide
It’s hard enough creating a human inside your body. Check out my list of must-haves to make your 40 weeks a little more pleasant.
My Unofficial New Mom Must-Haves
I love sharing my “been in the trenches” knowledge with soon-to-be Moms. So I asked my fellow Mommies for advice and put together a list of the slightly unexpected baby items you shouldn’t go without.
Almost outed by Chuck Norris
Hitting the 12 week milestone and how Chuck Norris almost outed my pregnancy 8 weeks early.
In My Tenth Week
I admit it — I’ve been cheating a little bit. When folks ask me how pregnant I am, I pad the number just a teeny weeny bit. I’m not lying. Just bending the rules a little.
Squeak’s Rollercoaster
Good news, followed by bad news. All clear followed by red flags. For someone who’s not allowed to ride rollercoasters, I sure am taking a ride on a doozy.
Clinging to Hope
A great deal of blood, clumps of tissue, cramping… sounds like a textbook miscarriage. Not in every case. And not in my case either, it seems.
The Fifteen Percent
After yesterday’s spotting stopped overnight, I started to breathe a little easier. And then the universe threw me for a very big loop.
Spotting
Five weeks and one day into this and I’m reminded that the best betas in the world do not guarantee a goddamn thing.
Beta #2
I was nervous about the second blood test. Would Squeak’s number double like it was supposed to?
The News, Part Deux
On pregnancy test day, I was done with the blood draw and at work by 7:30am. An hour later, my email pinged: “You have one new test result.” My hands started to shake.
The Chuck Norris of IVF
When faced with the prospect of sticking a 1-1/2 inch needle in my own arse, I turn into a huge coward. I need a little roundhouse-kickin’ inspiration.
His Balls in a Jar
It all started with a text message that accused me of having my husband’s junk under lock and key.
Putting the cart before the horse
It’s human nature to fantasize about the future, especially if you want something badly and are trying to achieve it. I can’t stop dreaming about something that’s still very far away.
In Vitro Numero Deux
It’s been over a year, but I found myself back in the halls of the IVF clinic for one exciting reason: Baby. Number. Two.
Why I don’t hate my breast pump
Show me the woman who actually enjoys pumping, and I’ll call her a total weirdo. But I don’t hate my pump — at least not the way many other women do.
Why I Hate Shopping for Baby Clothes
Call me a feminist, but I can’t stand the girly-girl overkill that saturates little girls’ clothing options.
No offense, it’s just not my thing.
A random woman on a Facebook forum’s distaste for fertility drugs made me really angry. I think it’s because infertility is no one’s “thing.”