“You need to [gain/lose] weight.”

There are only a few times in life where people feel it’s a good idea to give you advice on your weight. Unfortunately, when you are trying to get pregnant is one of those times.

Research proves that having an unhealthy body fat level (either too low or too high) will keep you from ovulating. Your bod needs a “happy medium” of body fat to hatch eggs. Apparently ovaries are like your mother — if you’re too skinny or too fat, they mumble nasty things under their breath, cross their arms, and don’t play nice.

Regardless of intentions, it’s incredibly inappropriate for a stranger to tell someone they need to gain or lose weight to get pregnant. That’s something only a doctor, or maybe a girl’s best friend, should say to her. Definitely not a topic for the checkout girl at Hy-Vee to bring up.

My grandma’s allowed to comment on my weight without getting punched, because she’s my grandma, and everyone knows grandmas say lots of funny things.  My grandma can’t understand why getting pregnant is so difficult.  As she tells me often, she was “a guppy fish” when it came to getting pregnant.  Apparently a “guppy fish” can get pregnant even after you take the male fish out of the tank. Is Grandma trying to tell me she got pregnant with one of her 5 kids when Grandpa wasn’t home?

Hmm… no wonder my uncle Larry is way shorter than his brothers….