Ah, another gem for the “Captain Obvious” category. I can’t even count how many people told me this over the last year and a half.

What’s gross about this one:  now I know this person is picturing me naked. Ew.

But this piece of advice is particularly irritating to women with fertility issues. If you are dealing with male infertility — which means his swimmers watch Michael Phelps and think, “Okay, HOW the HELL does he swim in a straight line?! It’s soooo hard!” — it doesn’t matter how much of a head start you give them. They’ll still be bumping into things, getting lost, swimming sideways, stopping to ask other sperm for directions, and by the time they get pointed toward the fallopes, they drop dead. Nice job, idiot sperm.

Putting your legs in the air after sex, when you’re trying to get pregnant, is right up there with arranging deck chairs on the Titanic. It might make you feel better, and will make the deck look orderly, but it won’t be the big thing that makes a difference.

 

Why stop now? Keep reading, friend.

  • Announcement SeasonDecember 7, 2012 Announcement Season If you're drafting a holiday pregnancy announcement status update, pause for just a moment before you tell the world.
  • The Mother of All Crying FitsDecember 2, 2012 The Mother of All Crying Fits It was just another stop for gas on the way home. 90 minutes later we finally got back on the road, after I went a little crazy, thanks to some evolutionary Mom Programming.
  • The Bra Lady Gives AdviceNovember 19, 2012 The Bra Lady Gives Advice Before tossing out random advice to people you don't know, consider the fact that not everyone can conceive babies in a heartbeat. A little sensitivity goes a long way.
  • That’s My JobOctober 31, 2012 That’s My Job I'm often asked, "What's the most surprising part about being a parent?" It's not hard to come up with an answer.
  • “You just need to relax. Then you’ll get pregnant.”June 2, 2011 “You just need to relax. Then you’ll get pregnant.” If you tell someone they need to lose weight to get pregnant, you're basically calling them fat. By telling me I need to relax, what's that saying?