As a first-time mom, I have trouble sorting out the Mom Choices I want to emulate, and those I want to ignore. It’s hard to determine as I navigate these waters for the first time exactly which route to take in many ways.

Fortunately, one of these decisions is easy. Giant head flowers.

You know what I mean. This business:

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Is it hopelessly cute? Yes, definitely. And for that reason, I get why someone would adorn their daughters with these little headband/headflowers for professional photo shoots. Look at this little thing in red! She’s beautiful.

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But these beasts aren’t limited to photo shoots. I see babies wearing flowers twice the size of their heads on my Facebook newsfeed all the time. A few months ago, I saw a baby in a chair, wearing a dress with a cardigan buttoned over it, complete with a giant purple headflower. It was a Thursday, and the photo was taken not by a pro, but by mom with her iPhone. There was no milestone to mark. It was just a Thursday.

I’ll confess, I take pictures of my daughter every time she has a “month” birthday. I dress her for daycare and snap a shot of her lying on a blanket, and post it on Facebook. But I never put her in a frilly dress and cardigan for daycare, or for a random day bumming around at home.

Because babies spit up. They poop out the sides of their diapers and all over their clothes. They pull their socks off, sometimes with their mouth. And at Peanut’s age, they grab and yank at EVERYTHING. A giant head flower would immediately turn into a chew toy if I were to squeeze one onto my daughter’s head.

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I think some crazy women must see their little girls as partners in dress-up, but I just don’t get it. I dress my kiddo in super-comfortable, easy-access, easy-to-clean outfits, with the occasional cutesy ensemble for a photo shoot. That’s it.

So I definitely can resist the urge to adorn my child with creepy flowers twice the size of their skull. 🙂  Not everyone can, but I think many should.

One exception: little girls with no hair long beyond the typical time frame. My friend’s girl was a late hair-sprouter, and mom was sick of her being mistaken for a boy despite her obviously feminine outfits. The head flowers (at a reasonable size) helped reduce the mistaken identities at the mall. In that case, I forgive the flower. But almost all babies are bald for the first 6-10 months. No flowers are needed unless all the other kids have a full head of gender-specific hair.

Don’t get all cranky with me if you’re a head flower lover. I know it’s different strokes for different folks. So go ahead and strap on a flower for that trip to the grocery store. But know that I might snap a secret photo of you and text it to a friend, poking fun at the obnoxiously large flower you made your little girl wear…TO COSTCO.

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This was actually grandma holding her. Cute outfit, but really… to Costco? Maybe she had a photo shoot later. 🙂