Working Girl

Dec 4, 2011


Angela Merkel is childless.

(Make sure you say that right. It’s “ON-gull-uh,” not the typical American pronunciation of “ANN-jul-uh”. Pretentious, no?)

On the cover of Bloomberg Businessweek today was a giant picture of the German Chancellor, better known as the woman who holds the purse strings for the wealthiest nation in the Euro Zone. Inside, they extrapolated on the person behind the position. In short, she’s a lady with a lot of power.

And she has no children.

Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, and former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice… all childless.

This makes me sad, mostly because these strong, intelligent women are exactly the kind of women who should be procreating. We could stand to have fewer Whiskey-Tango babies, and more critters coming forth from the best and brightest among us. Sorry if that offends, but how can we evolve as a species if the majority of our population comes from the bottom rung of the brainy ladder? But I digress.

A study from the University of Chicago, released last year, drew this well-known conclusion:

Men and women have nearly identical incomes and working hours once graduating from college, but 15 years later the men’s incomes soar to 75 percent more than the salaries of women, according to the study.

But there’s an exception to this rule, the study found. This does not apply to the small group of women who have never had children. For childless women, their pay equals that of their male peers. Studies also show that your chances of hitting 40 and not yet having children can be predicted partially based on your education level.

So what is society telling me?

Have a kid, you’ll make less money. 

Procreate and kiss your career goals good bye. 

Master’s degrees, for women, should come with an IVF starter kit. Because those of us with advanced degrees are more likely to wait longer, and have trouble conceiving, and need to fall back on assisted reproduction. That was DEFINITELY not in the brochure for my MBA program.  🙂

Lucky for me, I have already decided I have zero desire to be a CEO.  The pressure, the hours, and having to bite your tongue when you’re in the board room with the massive egos of the men who ARE in charge… Yeah, not really my strength.

So long as I get to be the woman in charge of something someday, to make decisions and have a say in the way things go… I’m content with that.

But I know women who are struggling with this. They’re skyrocketing up through the ranks of their companies, getting promoted every few months and making things happen. They’re also hearing their biological clocks ticking, but putting on the earmuffs. They’re hoping they can take their chances, ignoring the ticking clock until they’ve reached the top. Then, they say, they’ll settle down and have a baby.

Working Girl

The best part of Working Girl was, by far, the hair. Holy Aqua Net!

I know where they’re coming from. Achievement and recognition are like drugs. Once you get a little bit, you only want more, more, more. It’s hard not to keep striving, to say “If I never get much higher than this, I’m okay with it.”

Another study, this one just a few years older, says that 42% of high-achieving women in the corporate world are childless at age 41.  Compare that to high-achieving corporate men: only 25% have no kids.

But those women made that decision consciously, right? They knowingly gave up having kids and are probably happy they decided to opt out of motherhood… right?

The study asked them that question. One in 7 said they definitely didn’t want kids.  But the rest wanted their own children. Some have given up on that idea, I’m sure. But a quarter of them said they still planned to try.

Good luck, ladies.  The movie Working Girl had a happy ending. She got Harrison Ford and the corner office. Let’s hope each of us can have it all, too.

About Me

Hiya! I'm Lydia. I live in Iowa with my husband and two children, both the result of iVF. I started this blog in 2011, so everything here's a wee bit... old. I don't do a ton of writing anymore... but I'm leaving the blog up, in case it's helpful for those who stumble across it.

Skip to the iVF

If you're going through infertility and want to see our journey, start in June 2011 (first two cycles) or January 2014 (third cycle). Hopefully reading about our rollercoaster with assisted reproduction brings you a little hope, and more than a few giggles. (Keep in mind that this information is over a decade old in most cases; please don't take anything you read here as medical advice. Consult your doctor for facts.)

Affiliate Disclosure is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and the TGuard affiliate program. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.


  1. This topic is always interesting to me. One year ago I asked for a demotion so I could spend more time at home. My MBA degree is not being used at all. But I am now sane and enjoying life. I have a job, but not a career. I know I am not living up to my full potential at work but I did not enjoy one minute of mixing full time work with full time mommy. I hope that everyone can find the balance that works for them. But I struggle with the saying “you can have it all” because I’m not sure that is realistic and I feel like it sets women up to feel like failures if they choose not to “have it all.” Many successful women have husbands who stay home full time. Once you bring kids into the mix there is no way around the extra responsibility and someone has to take it on whether it be mom, dad, or hired help. I should add that my husband is very helpful with household work and taking care of the children and I still found the load too much to handle.

    • I think you’re right — you can’t have it all. We shouldn’t set ourselves up for failure by believing we can. I think in this case, “all” refers to being a good mother and having a job that pays the bills. At least, that’s my definition.

      I’ve known women who tried to do both, and instead ended up half-assing it all. They suffered at work and at home, and their marriages suffered too. I’ve no desire to go there.

      Good for you, for taking a step back and prioritizing. I wish more moms would feel like it’s OK to do that.

      PS – You rule. <3


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