I came across this list on “Confessions: A Free-Speech Community for IVF Girls” and had to share it.

Infertility T-shirt Ideas

Thought these should be out in the open for public enjoyment!:

  1. Who Shot My Stork???
  2. Slippery When Ovulating
  3. Egg Collector
  4. I did IVF and all I got was this Lousy T-shirt.
  5. No, I don’t want to hold your baby.
  6. My Embryo is an Honor Student.
  7. Baby NOT on Board.
  8. Babies Aren’t Us.
  9. I Have a Bi+chy Uterus.
  10. Knocked Down, Not Up.
  11. Keep your unicorn farts to yourself.
  12. Not expecting….just bloated.
  13. Childless aunt does not equal free babysitter.
  14. No Expert/Sexpert Advice Please.
  15. Worrying is a full-time job.
  16. Rotten eggs: $30, 000.
  17. I spent all my savings on infertility treatments, and all I got was this crappy t-shirt.
  18. I like it small, thin and in the @$$.
  19. The vagina is not a clown car (with a picture of the Duggar family on it)!
  20. Relax? I can’t believe I didn’t think of that.
  21. Adoption costs $25000. It’s not so easy to “just do” that.
  22. Statements that begin with “At least…” do not comfort anyone.
  23. REs at work.
  24. www.infertilethoughts.com
  25. My test tube baby kicked your naturally conceived honor student’s @$$.
  26. I can’t…I’m cycling.
  27. (Photo courtesy of Epson vu-vu cam.)
  28. “God’s Plan” is for me to kick your @$$.
  29. IVF Meds: $5,000; IVF retrieval: $4,000; IVF transfer:$3,000; Kicking a fertile’s @$$: Priceless.
  30. If I can’t be pregnant, at least I can be thin.


Why stop now? Keep reading, friend.

  • My most humiliating infertility momentNovember 23, 2011 My most humiliating infertility moment You can take the girl out of the city, but no matter where I go, infertility consumes most of my waking-hour thoughts. Recently, I experienced the WORST embarrassing moment yet in my infertility journey. It's going to haunt me for life.
  • How to survive IVF and infertility treatmentsDecember 10, 2017 How to survive IVF and infertility treatments When a friend asked me what to expect with IVF—specifically, how to prepare ahead of time and how to cope throughout the process—I started thinking hard about what advice I would give someone about to start down the IVF trail. I enlisted […]
  • “Have you tried acupuncture?”June 28, 2011 “Have you tried acupuncture?” Some folks swear up and down that it's the holy grail, even people I know and trust. I'm not curious enough to try it. because I think it's malarkey.
  • “You need to [gain/lose] weight.”June 7, 2011 “You need to [gain/lose] weight.” There are few times in life where people feel it's OK give you advice on your weight. Unfortunately, when you are trying to get pregnant is one of those times.
  • “Should you be drinking? Aren’t you trying to get pregnant?”June 28, 2011 “Should you be drinking? Aren’t you trying to get pregnant?” I do not even want to describe the fate that awaits he (or she) who stands between a grieving woman going through infertility and her ice-cold beer.