According to my doctors and this helpful article, your body clears the synthetic hormones from The Pill within a few days. This is how idiots who miss 3 or 4 days of the pill end up pregnant.

(“HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!”)

Most women start ovulating on their own and get a period within a few weeks. For some, it takes months.

Sadly, it appears I am in the latter group. *enormous sigh*

I have been off the pill for over 5 weeks. And just like last time, not a damn thing has happened.

I’m not sure what I think about this. I guess I’m not surprised… this did happen back in 2010 when we first started trying to get pregnant (back then I went 5 months without a period before making an appointment to see an endocrinologist; that was how we started this whole infertility thing). But I sort of hoped that having a baby would remind my reproductive system what to do on its own.

I hear similar stories all the time. Couple tries forever, can’t get pregnant, does IVF, gets pregnant, has baby, and of course, doesn’t use any birth control afterward. Why would she need it? And though her punani is still recovering from the previous birth, now she’s growing another human.

I guess that’s not the case in my case. At least, not yet. I’ve already resigned myself to the fact that we’ll probably end up doing the doc’s Plan B —  a combo of medication (including, oddly, birth control) to simulate a normal cycle, so we can do a frozen transfer. They’ll use more hormones to build up my uterine lining.

My reproductive system is able to basically sit this one out, and I (and the doctors) will do all the work.

It’s only been five weeks, so I shouldn’t get too worked up quite yet. I have four weeks to continue trying Plan A before we resort to Plan B.

I’m still frustrated. I wanted my lady parts to actually WORK this time. Like before, my uterus seems to be on a permanent vacation.

Lazy bitch. Get back to work! We’ve got babies to make here!

Why stop now? Keep reading, friend.

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  • March 18, 2012 She’s off her meds One out of every 10 people is on anti-depressants. I'm one of them. But what happens when a depressive who's reliant on medication gets pregnant?
  • How to stop your kid’s thumbsucking.September 3, 2018 How to stop your kid’s thumbsucking. I've tackled some big challenges in my life. Infertility was a doozy. A month in traction was another. But nothing prepared me for the challenge of breaking my five-year-old of her thumbsucking habit. Buckle in, friends. It's gonna get crazy.
  • It’s So Easy (and other lies)February 25, 2013 It’s So Easy (and other lies) My expectations of breastfeeding were way off base. I underestimated how hard it would be, especially at first. This is my warning to the mothers-to-be: it sure ain't easy.