My DH and I have been TTC for 1 year, 9 months.

After stopping BCP in January 2010, AF didn’t arrive… and still didn’t arrive. After 5 months they ran blood tests for TSH and PCOS, eventually to give me a DX of anovulatory amenorrhea. I’ve tried CCCT, but no O, also tried tracking BBT and using OPKs to detect O, but nothing worked, and HPT was negative every time.  Soon they moved to injectible FSH and HCG to induce O, using IM injections. I responded well but erratically so they moved to IVF and we just completed our first cycle of IVF, still doing IM injections of PIO during the 2WW before I find out if I’m PG.

OK, I’ll stop now, because I’m making myself sick.

I’ve mentioned before that there are a LOT of women who take this whole trying to get pregnant/fertility thing really seriously.  In my opinion, too seriously. Because of this somewhat commonplace obsession, an entire language — made solely from acronyms — has emerged.

The paragraph above touched on just a few of them. And trust me, many of them are ridiculous.

  • DH = Dear Husband
  • TTC = Trying to Conceive
  • BCP = Birth control pills
  • AF = Aunt Flow (always classy)
  • TSH = Thyroid Stimulating Hormone
  • PCOS =Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome
  • DX = Diagnosis
  • CCCT = Clomiphene Citrate Challenge Test
  • O = Ovulation
  • BBT = Basal Body Temperature
  • OPK = Ovulation predictor kit
  • HPT = Home pregnancy test
  • FSH = Follicle stimulating hormone
  • HCG = Human chorionic gonadotropin
  • IM = Intramuscular
  • IVF = In vitro fertilization
  • PIO = Progesterone in oil
  • 2WW = Two-week wait. The time you have to wait between fertilization and the date you can take a pregnancy test
  • PG = Pregnant

Other Acronyms I Refuse to Use for Fear it Will Affect My I.Q.

  • FF = Fertility friend
  • BMS = Baby-making sex
  • BD = Baby Dance
  • BFN = Big Fat Negative
  • FTTA = Fertile thoughts to all (gag — do we really need an acronym for this? Can’t we just TYPE IT OUT?)

It’s idiotic how obsessed some get over conceiving. Did you know there are message boards — hundreds — devoted to making babies, where women share the twisted details of their CM (cervical mucus) and OP (ovulatory pain), and ask people to validate their suspicion that they are pregnant (or not pregnant).

There are even message boards where you can post an image of your basal body temp chart (for the uninitiated, your temp in the morning is an indicator of ovulation; your body temp rises by a degree when you ovulate, and stays high until you either have a period or you realize you’re pregnant) and ask other people’s opinion of when, or if, you actually ovulated. Screw medical advice! Who needs it when you have the unqualified opinions of strangers?

(For example, “Hi, I’m a random woman, and the HPV shot made my child mentally disabled.” That’s an unqualified opinion.)

Yes, my blog is a form of social validation, and there’s some hypocrisy in my irritation toward the message boards. But I’m not asking for validation on every stinkin’ step of the process. I’m not asking you to weigh in on my sore boobs and occasional dizziness (Hmm, is that a sign of pregnancy?! Hold on while I Google it).  That’s creepy.

I’m a fan of supporting people who are going through tough times (and I heart everyone who’s been supportive of me so far!). But having a list of acronyms SEVERAL PAGES LONG (I wish I was kidding)??

That’s just overkill.

Hmm….I wonder if those message board gals know that to get pregnant, all they need to do is RELAX?  😉

Why stop now? Keep reading, friend.

  • Not a BFP. More like an LTP.December 22, 2011 Not a BFP. More like an LTP. Being pregnant is an absolute. You either are, or you're not. Right? That's what I always thought, but like many things in this dog-and-pony show, I am learning as I go.
  • Lucky BitchesApril 24, 2013 Lucky Bitches Though my infertility is technically history, the experience -- and the feelings that came with it -- never truly goes away.
  • Belly envyMarch 11, 2012 Belly envy It's hard to be in public sporting your pregnant belly. That voice in the back of your head reminds you that not long ago, strolls through the mall could bring you to tears.
  • Fertility CoverageMarch 15, 2013 Fertility Coverage For some women battling infertility, the decision comes down to making a baby or making the mortgage. Our insurance laws suck.
  • What does $1,081.68 look like?August 24, 2011 What does $1,081.68 look like? It's starting now. But the first thing I notice is how insanely expensive these medications are. What the heck do people without insurance do to pay for all of this craziness? Pre-sell their firstborn?