Oh, no you didn’t.

Nobody should come between a woman and her Spotted Cow (for the uninitiated, it’s the world’s best beer from New Glarus Brewery).  Well, if it’s her sixth Spotted Cow, and she’s slurring and falling off her chair, alright — you have my permission to intervene.

But if she’s calmly and reasonably enjoying a cold one, it’s definitely not your business to say anything.  There’s a lot you don’t know.

This is the car seat I rode in when I was a baby. There wasn’t much padding left on the metal overhead bar by the time it was handed down to me, and I turned out just fine, didn’t I? Wait, don’t answer that.

You may not know that her upcoming IVF cycle was just delayed a month because of a nationwide shortage of Leuprolide. That gives her a good 110 days until she has to be on the ovary clock, so by all means, DRINK UP, sugar.

Or maybe her most recent pregnancy test, that very morning, was negative, again, and she’s trying to enjoy a little buzz to drown her sorrows in a very grown-up way.

Whatever her reason, it’s her own damn business.

Even if she IS pregnant, it’s okay to have wine on occasion. I’m not talking Lindsay Lohan’s idea of a “reasonable amount” (which is closer to a box than a glass), but a singular glass of wine is perfectly fine. It’s not the end of the world.

Besides, we are way too flippin’ sensitive about what pregnant women put in their bodies during pregnancy (but that’s a topic I’m saving for another blog).

Until then, I’ll amuse you with a photo of a 1980s car seat. The one my sisters and I rode in (when we weren’t on my mother’s lap [!!!], Britney-style) looked a lot like the one in this photo. Lots of exposed hard plastic and a nice metal restraining bar. Hey, it worked for roller coasters, it’ll work for babies!

Why stop now? Keep reading, friend.

  • SpottingDecember 8, 2013 Spotting Five weeks and one day into this and I'm reminded that the best betas in the world do not guarantee a goddamn thing.
  • This is why I stayDecember 17, 2017 This is why I stay Friends who move away from Iowa love to post photos of sandy beaches and warm winter days, tagged with #thisiswhyimoved. But let's be clear. Nobody stays in Iowa for the weather or the landscape. We stay for one very specific and […]
  • People can really surprise you.September 12, 2011 People can really surprise you. Just when you think you know what to expect from other people, they throw you a curve ball. -- sometimes wonderful, and sometimes cruel.
  • ExpansionAugust 1, 2013 Expansion Our projected family size has gone from two (just us), to three (+ puppy), to four (+ a Peanut). We haven't always agreed, but now, we're at an impasse. We do not agree on where to go from here.
  • The Bra Lady Gives AdviceNovember 19, 2012 The Bra Lady Gives Advice Before tossing out random advice to people you don't know, consider the fact that not everyone can conceive babies in a heartbeat. A little sensitivity goes a long way.