One miscarriage and two chemical pregnancies resulted from our three donated embryos. Our recipients were heartbroken and beaten down. But a few months later, the universe served up a couple of big surprises.
It’s hard enough deciding to donate your embryos. Many women—myself included—feel like they’re doing this horribly hard job all alone, because their spouse is totally checked out. Here’s how to cope.
This is where the process of donating can get unpleasant for donors. What kind of questions should you ask potential recipients? How do you deal with telling couples they’re not a good fit? Should you tell them at all, or just cut off communication?
Once you’re certain about donating, how do you start? This chapter explains how donors can get started finding recipients. You can seek on your own through word of mouth, put out a “call” on social media, or use an agency. We discuss the pros and cons of each, including the upsides and downsides of a small versus large agency, and how we found our perfect agency match.
The Alabama Lottery is the irrational fear that our genetic children might meet, hook up, or get married without realizing they were siblings. It’s unlikely as winning the lottery, yes, but that doesn’t make the fear any less real. This chapter explains anonymous and known donation, the pros and cons of both, and how we made our choice.
The story of how we came to the decision to donate, including how we ended up with leftover embryos. This chapter explores the tough questions of how we knew when our family was complete; why we wanted to donate to an infertile couple; other options we considered; and how we came to terms with the idea of losing control after the donation is final.